I love you so much, and I always will. But yes, it’s time we moved on. I need to get myself together and stop being sad. I have realised that I am supposed to be the most important person in my life, and once I get it all together and figure out the things I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to be, that is when i’ll be able to put someone first like I have prioritised you for the last 6 months. It was never healthy, but I was happy until I hurt you. That should have been the first and only sign for us to realise and wake up that it was hurting us from the start. I will always be jealous of anyone that you ever put first, anyone that gets to share part of your life with you, anyone that you love. Because you loved me, and it was the most beautiful thing ever. They say that your high school love is insignificant in the story of your life but you will never ever be insignificant to me. I just can’t imagine it could get any stronger than this, than what I am feeling right now.
But it doesn’t mean that the pain that I am feeling right now isn’t valid, I because I know it is. I have felt this way for such a long time, that it’s not all wholly him that i’m going to miss; i’m going to miss having someone to look forward to. It’s not that i’ll never experience that feeling ever again, I just wish i’d never have to. And that’s the hard part, that I hope will get easier. When will this ease?